Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Not so subtle gift ideas

We love Mom and Dad, but they just don't listen when we start talking about oil depletion. Somehow they just tune out the incoming TEOTWAWKI. Or maybe we haven't mentioned it - we wouldn't want to set off Dad's blood pressure alarm again. But now's our chance! Instead of getting another turkey baster for Ma, or some battery powered drill-saws for Pa, let's get them (not so subtly) prepared for the coming energy descent!

Yes, 'tis the season. It's the time of year we can sneak some Peak Oil Preparedness into the lives of our loved ones through our clever gift choices.

Strategy #1: Buzz Kill Emergency Preparedness

"Gee, ever since the (ice storm, tornado, Hurricane Ike, invasion of South Ossetia, trucker strike in Europe, collapse of financial stability, 10% unemployment rate), we've just been picking up a few things here and there. We thought you might like this - "

Oil lamp
CFL lantern or BOGO light
First Aid Kit
Hand cranked emergency radio
Water filter
Camp stove + Coleman fuel or propane
Emergency kit for the car

Strategy #2: For the Hobbyists

"I remembered how you're so interested in (gardening, cooking, camping, surviving planetary ecological collapse). I knew you'd love it!"

Membership in local food Co-op
Share in Community Supported Agriculture (if they would use it :)
Gift certificate to Territorial Seeds, Seeds of Change, or Baker Creek Seeds
Semi-dwarf apple trees, to arrive in March
Watering can
Garden tools
Beer brewing kit
Canning jars and lids
Dutch Oven
Cast iron skillet
Sub-zero sleeping bags
Everlasting firestarter

Strategy #3: For the Bibliophiles

"I thought this book looked interesting.... the lady at Borders recommended it ;)"

Transition Handbook by Rob Hopkins
Just in Case by Kathy Harrison
The Long Emergency by James Howard Kuntsler
The Party's Over by Richard Heinberg
Reinventing Collapse by Dmitry Orlov
Depletion and Abundance, by Sharon Astyk
The Vegetable Gardeners' Bible by Ed Smith
Gaia's Garden by Toby Hemenway
Ball Complete Book of Home Preserving

Strategy #4: For the Uber-Crunchy

"This should help you save the planet!"

Bike (or bike tires and repair kit)
Bike trailer (for the kiddos)
Solar battery/cellphone/iPod charger
Solar lantern
Subscripton to Mother Earth News
Bus pass

Strategy #5: When you've given up on subtlety

"OK Mom, just keep this in the (closet/fridge/buried underground) until you need it"

Global Sun Oven
Camp stove + propane
2 weeks supply of water (and Tang)
Wood cookstove
Cord of wood
20 buckets of rice, beans, oats, and sugar
Gold bullion
When Technology Fails, by Matthew Stein
Coffee can of cash, to be buried in unspecified location
3 year's supply of seeds, freeze dried
Flak jacket

Or, you know, a donation to their charity of choice would also be nice.

PS: Yes, this IS a repost from last year! Any suggestions of your own?


Veiled Glory said...

Instead of MEN subscription, substitute Countryside or Backwoods Home. Not as liberally Crunchy, but v. v. practical.

E said...

Why "help save the planet"?
The planet need no help from us humans, in fact it might even do "better" without us.

Please explain.

Peak Oil Hausfrau said...

E - First, note that all quotes are jokes. Second, I happen to agree that the planet might well do better off without us. But unless we embark on a campaign of genocide or some other major catastrophe occurs and eliminates our species, humanity will likely be around awhile.

The planet as a ball of rocks needs no help to survive. There are, however, a multitude of species that will rapidly go extinct without help in protecting their habitats, drinking water, climate, etc. Again, those species might do better off if all humans were dead, but I think we'll be around awhile, so let's protect the biodiversity on the planet as much as we can. IMHO.

E said...

So far our track record of protecting ANYTHING is miserable. Oceans, coral reefs, tigers, bears, wolves, any kind of forests and rivers, clean water. You name it: add humans and it's gone.
Sad but true.